Parent Coaching Case Studies

Ten days old

Baby Clare was the first born on inexperienced parents who desperately needed help with breastfeeding, routine and settling there ten day old baby.

When our first child was born we really had no idea what we were doing.  With my husband and I being the youngest children in our family, we had no experience in looking after younger siblings.  I remember not even being able to change a disposable nappy!

These simple techniques were a tremendous help as they gave us the confidence we needed to parent effectively.  The practical advice given helped me with feeding problems, and the wrapping and settling techniques helped with Clare’s sleep routine.  Generally, I remember thinking how great it was to have our baby in a ‘routine’ so much easier than most of the other babies we knew at the time.

I’d highly recommend the techniques and routine Cradle 2 Kindy taught to any first-time parent or anyone having difficulties adjusting to and coping with a new baby.   Dover Heights, NSW

Ten days old

Emma was also ten days old and was a very poor sleeper.  By the afternoon she was inconsolable. 

My husband and I came out of hospital with our new daughter, Emma, feeling incredibly daunted by our new life as parents.  Looking after a new baby was completely overwhelming.  Emma would not settle at all during the afternoon, and into the night the problems became worse.  This predicament left me in tears daily.  My husband and I were both sleep-deprived and were being given all sorts of advice: pat her, rock her cradle, take her for a long walk in the pram.  We even ventured out in our car for an hour at 3 am one night, with the hope it might send her to sleep - it didn’t!  Nothing worked!

Then we had the good fortune to come across Cradle 2 Kindy and their parenting coach program.

Our coach spent twenty-four hours with our new family - the most life-changing day since Emma was born!  After discussing and observing our routine, it was explained that four-hourly feeding, wrapping and little, if any, comforting to sleep would work well with Emma.   Emma quickly settled into a successful and easy-to-follow routine.  The major focus was on sleep for mum as well as baby.  It was suggested we should do this by giving baby time to settle by herself, allowing her to unwind by crying, waking baby to feed every four hours during the day and mum sleeping at least once during the day while baby was sleeping.  Another key lesson was that a well-fed baby sleeps better than a half-fed baby.   These methods give us the energy and confidence to cope with a newborn. 

Our parenting coach also helped us a little further down the track when Emma was about four-months old - just at the point where our social life was returning.  The problem was that we lacked the knowledge and confidence to drop a night feed and allow Emma to sleep through the night.  After two consecutive nights, during which we reinforced the comforting settling skills we learnt before, Emma no longer woke during the night and now sleeps from around 7 pm until 6.30 am.  We now have the confidence to have more children!

A wealth of information, these parenting skills have left us with good practical guidelines.  I have recommended these methods to my friends and they have been a great hit!   Mosman, NSW

Also see Services Newborn

Three months

Brian was a three months old who found it difficult to sleep, he became more unsettled the longer you remained with him.

Our son Brian had not been an easy baby to settle for sleep since birth.  We had initially tried to rock and pat him to sleep, however, this could sometimes take anywhere from ten minutes to an hour.  Whilst he was tired, when it was time for sleep, he seemed to find it difficult to unwind and let himself drift off.  It also seemed that sometimes the constant rocking and patting actually annoyed him, and he would really get more upset and overtired.

The settling technique taught to us by our parenting coach has proven far more effective for Brian, and whilst sometimes it still can take some time for him to fall asleep, we no longer have the long stretches of crying which had previously happened.    Penny – Mosman, NSW

Five months

Colin at five month had no routine and poor sleep habits.   His mother had tired various settling techniques and institutions to no avail. 

Colin was always an unsettled baby from the very beginning.  He was sensitive to sound (for example, I couldn’t speak on the phone in the same room, nor take him into the supermarket without him crying) and he needed a quiet daily routine.  In addition, Clive refused to sleep in the day.  Even at the age of five weeks, he could be awake from 10 am to 11 pm.  The only way I found to get him to sleep was to rock him in my arms while standing and swaying.  This seemed okay initially, as Colin slept throughout the night.  I finally managed to get Colin into a routine of sleeping twice in a day.  Up until then it had been very ad-hoc.  However, I still needed to rock him in my arms.  Colin had to be completely asleep before I could put him in his cot, otherwise he would wake and I would have to start the whole process again.  I could spend on average thirty to forty minutes per rocking session, with Colin sometimes only having a twenty-minute sleep.  He was so overtired by the end of the day.  I could spend one to five hours rocking him, but I convinced myself that it was okay and that he would grow out of it by six months of age.

Rather than getting better, it all began to deteriorate.  Colin began waking earlier and earlier in the morning, then at five months he starting to wake three times per nigh.  I fed him briefly each time before he went back to sleep and began to get concerned that he was not getting enough nutrition in the day.   Colin was still fully breastfed and quite a big baby (ninety-seventh percentile).  I decided to ‘top him up’ with formula at night-time.  This did not affect night-waking and I was informed (by Tresillian) that it was a sleeping problem and not a nutrition problem.  ‘Someone please help me!’ was my call.

Although I had attended two day-stays with Tresillian, I did not have much success when returning home.  Little differences had me very confused.  I asked Cradle 2 Kindy to help.  Our parenting coach spent time with me in my home to help Colin learn to fall asleep on his own.  It ended up being a very simple, effective and painless process, because I was given very clear information.  In a nutshell, we used a combination of the clock and Colin’s tired signs to decide when to put him to bed.  He was wrapped, using a method to that allowed arm movement.  The sheet was pulled up and tucked in and the side of the cot was raised, no eye contact.  To my utter amazement after implementing their settling techniques, Colin went to sleep in twenty minutes and stayed asleep for two hours.  However, it was the next sleep which proved interesting, as Colin decided to really protest and has a screaming tantrum in his cot.  It took a little longer for him to fall asleep and much resolve on my part, but consistency paid off.  It was nothing short of a miracle.  Within one day, Colin went to sleep on his own and I had regained several hours to myself in each day.  The same technique also works in the pram, so going out over sleep time is not so much of a stress.  Thanks to these life-saving parenting skills, I now have a new life.  I can barely imagine that I spent so much time trapped in a ‘rocking’ cycle.      Helen – Mosman, NSW

Also see Services Baby

Seven and a half months

James at 7 ½ months was unable to resettle himself after one sleep cycle during both the day and night.  He had learnt that if he vomited his would be picked up.  His parents were desperate for a good nights sleep. 

We called Cradle 2 Kindy to help me establish a sleeping routine for James as he had deteriorated over a four to six week period to about two twenty-minute naps during the day and was waking up nearly every hour during the night. 

I had tried breast feeding on demand, a bottle of formula, dummy (needing to be put back in every hour), music, rocking and patting to no avail.  He cried until I came to settle him which usually only took ten to fifteen minutes, went back to sleep only to wake soon after and not be able to put himself back to sleep.  His crying was so loud and stressful he sometimes made himself sick in the cot.  We were concerned about all the noise for the neighbours and street so always rushed into him before he was beside himself.  My husband had even stood in the street to check out the noise levels. 

I read Baby Love and other books on controlled crying to see if I could do something myself, but always found that I could not commit to the procedures as there was always an excuse in my mind as to why he was crying - like hunger, teething, injections, cold etc.   I was so tired after six weeks I felt like a zombie.  I was not enjoying each day, as little things upset me that never would have before.  I knew tiredness was the only problem but couldn’t see the way to fix it for both of our benefits.  I knew the poor sleep James was having for this age wasn’t doing him any good either, so felt something had to be done.

Cradle 2 Kindy techniques had helped a girlfriend with her baby in the early months so her recommendation was essential.

I discussed my problem with our parenting coach over the phone and booked a time for two weeks later.  I was concerned about the “control crying” aspect of settling but our coach described the method she used as “comforting”. … what a difference a definition makes!  I felt better already and sure I was going to be able to work it out. 

Over the twenty-four hours our coach visited us we learnt all about Sleep SolutionsTM for infants.  Once I understood the technique, its variations and the need to teach him a routine, it all became so clear.  I had really just needed someone to guide me through the initial long periods of crying, assuring me that all my concerns (hunger, dummy etc) were not the problem but James merely needed to learn the ability to resettle himself after periods of waking.  He slept through the night on the second night.  I learnt sleep induces sleep.  Once the technique was applied through the day as well as the night, we were having two proper sleeps a day (sometimes for two hours) followed by 7 pm to 6 am night sleeps.  We added a small 120 ml bottle feed at 10.30 pm to be sure he was satisfied and slept through.  He only required this extra feed for three weeks.  Sure, there were days or night following that were not perfect, but I now know what to do in these circumstances which fixed the problem for the next sleep.

The main difficulties with sleep and settling babies were so easily overcome once I was confident in the routine I established.  I was so happy knowing it worked for us!       Julie – Paddington, NSW

Also see Services Baby

Twelve months old

Alex was a twelve-month old with night waking issues.  He desperately needed to learn how to self settle.  Perseverance, consistency and determination saw a quick response from Alex.

With trepidation we decided (well, I decided and my husband didn’t protest too loudly) to embark on a sleep and settling venture with our twelve-month old baby.  I figured that although at this stage he could cry and wail loudly, he couldn’t shout obscenities like “why are you doing this to me Mama!”   I was not brave enough, or disciplined enough, to settle my baby on my own so I called Cradle 2 Kindy to help me.  After all, this was not the first time we would do this, so I had a fair idea of what I was in for. 

Our parenting coach taught us sleep and settling technique for our baby, Alex, first when he was five months old and I was returning to full-time work.  At that stage he would wake up to six times an evening.  The settling worked like a charm and he was sleeping through by the second night.  Unfortunately, an illness, a flooded kitchen and having to move out of our house for two weeks broke his routine when he was about eleven months old.  Being desperate for the peace of mind and clarity that a full night’s sleep brings, we decided it would be worth a shot.

I remember the first evening of settling:  our coach was unswerving in her technique and gently reminded me to get out of the room every time I had difficulties leaving.  Why?  Cause he wailed.  He cried and screamed and thrashed and was very cranky with me.  It broke my heart.  What I didn’t expect was that once he fell asleep the first time that it was not over.  So, at 4 am he woke again and the same procedure took place.  I was devastated and spent the rest of the night in my bed crying.  It’s a tough-love thing and it’s mentally and emotionally exhausting.

The second night was much easier and of course, by the third night he was fast asleep in next to no time and stayed asleep.  At which point I was grateful that I was able to get through the first hideous evening and maintain the determination to break the cycle.  But I still acknowledge and remember how difficult it was.

Since then we have moved house and, of course, have had many a childhood fever.  The difficulty is that their sleep routine can be broken so easily and you have to be so strong.  Alex is almost twenty-months old and, yes, we had a bit of difficulty when we moved homes and he was in a new bedroom.  He seems to have adjusted quite well; however, we have made a conscious decision to accept a degree of broken sleep: he wakes some nights and sleep through others.  When he wakes, he asks for a drink and goes back to sleep.  So we figure, this is acceptable for now.

I strongly recommend a parenting coach from Cradle 2 Kindy to parents who are desperate to sleep.  I can confidently say that the earlier you make the decision, the easier it is.  Would I do it again?  We are expecting another baby and I am certainly going to follow this technique for the newborn if the problem arises.  As for Alex, I dread the idea of having to go through this a second time, so we are very disciplined about when or why we disrupt his sleeping pattern.  After all, the memory is a powerful tool.    Karen – Hurstville, NSW

Also see Services Baby

Two and a half years old

Tom was an only child who was very insecure and clingy.  He had very few boundaries and controlled the house with temper tantrums and refused to go to bed constantly waking throughout the night seeking his parent’s attention. 

When we initially contacted Cradle 2 Kindy, we were desperately in need of professional help.  Our two and a half-year old son Tom, an only child at the time and not a good sleeper at the best of times, had become impossible to settle.  He woke constantly at night and was clingy, cranky and insecure during the day.
Things had degenerated to the point where we drove him around to put him to sleep at about 7 pm and sometimes even in the middle of the night when he woke and wouldn’t be resettled.

When our parenting coach arrived at 4 pm on the first day of her four-day stay, we were all stressed, cranky and exhausted.  She watched as we went through the evening routine with Tom and she had assessed the situation within minutes.  ‘He doesn’t know his limits.  That’s what’s making him so clingy and insecure,’ she said.

With the help of the new strategies, we were able to take charge of the routine.  The methods guided us through the dinner, bath, bedtime process, essentially making the routine firmer.  Dinner took approximately twenty minutes, bath time about the same, and with far fewer protests than usual Jack was put to bed with a firm ‘goodnight’.  We then sat down to talk about what had been happening and why.

It emerged that the catalyst for Tom’s behaviour was an innocent enough event from months before.  Something he’d watched on a video had given him a fright.  Taking his fears seriously, we consoled him, explained it wasn’t real and when he said he was too scared to sleep by himself, one of us had slept in his room. 

As a bright, opportunistic child, Tom turned a real, although passing, fear to his advantage.  (Yes, he conned us!)  The result was a vicious circle.  The more we pandered to his fears, the more clingy he became. 

The four days our coach was with us were a learning experience for us as a family.  We have an extremely strong-willed son who given an inch will take a mile.  We were taught some excellent long-term strategies to help us deal with Tom more effectively.  Despite his various protests and ploys, he was firmly guided back to bed whenever he came out, both at bedtime and throughout the night. 

Better sleep and the feeling that we had more control over the situation resulted in a far happier family life for us all.  The most interesting change however was in Tom.  Contrary to our expectations, he totally lost his fears and became a much happier, more confident child.

As many new parents have said, babies and children don’t come with a manual.  The next best thing is to get professional from Cradle 2 Kindy to help when you need it.  The long-term benefits to us have been immeasurable.            Woollahra, NSW

Jasmine a four and a half year old needed not only guidelines for a bedtime routine but also boundaries and limits to prepare her for school. 

Our daughter, due to travel and living in an apartment, did not have her own room till she was nearly three years old, when we finally settled in our own house.  Because of this she had often slept in our bed.  I was physically worn down from constant disturbed nights and disrupted daily routines.  At this point I didn’t realise there was a problem.  I was just trying to keep life in some kind of order which included sleeping Jasmine in her own room.  During the night, she would sneak across the hall and hop into my bed.  Her constant kicking exhausted me, but instead of taking her back to her bed I would sleep semi-comatose till the morning.  I thought I was going quite mad.  As I became more and more sleep deprived, I became more intent on teaching her to stay in her bed.  It worked three times.  After being vigilant for five nights, I could get her to stay in her bed.  However, travel would disrupt the whole routine and I’d be back to square one.  Being a tired exhausted, angry wreck, my perseverance was wearing thin so the vicious cycle would start again.  At my wits end, I told a neighbour, who told me about the success of these settling techniques. 

I instantly rang Cradle 2 Kindy to arrange for a parenting coach to visit us and felt extraordinarily comforted because she had obviously heard it all before.  However, the most inspiring part for me - wait for this - she wasn’t phased in the slightest that our daughter was now four years old (In some ways I’d given up on getting help, thinking in very clichéd terms that there was no-one out there who could help … (I’d thought I’d missed the ‘learning to sleep’ boat.)

Now this progress was very exciting and then the most marvellous incident occurred. Because our daughter was four and perhaps at her most negotiable stage, the process was utterly un-traumatic all round.

After the first two easy nights initiating the technique, the third proved the roughest.  But non-the-less very verbally negotiable.  I had secretly expected the process to be easy at the first, because I knew our daughter would find it all very amusing and fall into line until she realised we meant business, and obviously, any initial reactions are due to the temperament and character of the child.  After six nights, she learnt not to creep into my bed and to stay in her bed.  Since, I have heard her get up and go to do a wee (we keep a potty in her room as the toilet is downstairs) and get back into bed.  When her clock turns seven o’clock, she knows she is allowed to come into Mummy and Daddy’s room. 

Our coach insisted that both parents should learn the technique.  Now I have once again found deep sleep, thanks to these techniques.  Woollahra, NSW

Also see Services - Toddler &  Child