Six steps to help you simplify the daunting and sometimes overwhelming tasks involved in being a mother Lisa Walsh, a psychology coach and mother gives us the second 3 steps of 6 steps to help you simplify the daunting and sometimes overwhelming tasks involved in being a mother.
In our last newsletter Lisa covered the topics:
Simplify the cleaning
Simplify the troops
Simplify the kitchen
Lisa now looks at:
Simplify the Paperwork
Do you have a mountain of paperwork which consists of unopened letters, bills, thank you cards half written, receipts, fliers for events that you know you will never attend, old information about things that no longer even interest you, junk mail? The list goes on, well mine does anyway. Set some time aside, whilst the baby is napping or whilst watching telly in the evening and ruthlessly throw out the paperwork you no longer need. Organise a workspace which can handle incoming mail and paperwork in a no nonsense manner, preferably beside the recycling bin!
Simplify your relationship
Having children is undoubtedly one of the most rewarding experiences we can have, but it can also put a huge strain on relationships. Your other half may share the burdens that are inevitably involved in parenthood, but all too often women are the primary carers and thus we can be left feeling alone and unappreciated. Don’t let things fester, if your partner does something that upsets or annoys you, don’t leave it until you are having a row to bring something up that happened weeks ago. One night a week endeavour to have a date night whether that means getting a takeaway and a DVD or getting a babysitter and going out ensure that you regularly make time to nurture yourselves as a couple. One night a week turn off the television and play a board game or do a puzzle together. It may sound nerdy, but give it a go and you may surprise yourself and really enjoy it.
Simplify yourself
All too often women can lose their identity once children are on the scene. Honour yourself and the amazing person you are. Take time out for yourself, whether that means having a luxurious bath, going for a walk or having a coffee with a friend. It is important that you have your own time. Try and keep active, as we all know the myriad of health benefits associated with an active lifestyle. Not only can being active help us feel better, it also enables us to keep the blues away. Moderate and regular exercise has shown to be as effective as antidepressants in helping buffer the effects of mild depression. If you are feeling low, talk to someone you trust or confide in your doctor. If you have decided to take a career break then enjoy it and don’t feel guilty or resentful about missed career opportunities. A great way of staying up to date with advances in your profession is to keep up memberships to professional associations, join a networking group or enrol in a short course to keep your skills honed.
Lisa Walsh lives on the Northern Beaches and is a psychology coach and mother of one, with a second on the way. She can be contacted on 0405 933328 for coaching appointments.
Disclaimer: Article on our website are for education
purposes only. Please consult with your doctor to make sure this
information is right for your child.
For more information on similar parenting topics you may like take a look at our e-books Publications on this link.
All articles on this website have a copyright any use of any material
must have permission from Cradle 2 Kindy Parenting Solutions.
Lisa Walsh, a psychology coach and mother gives us the first 3 of 6 steps to help you simplify the daunting and sometimes overwhelming tasks involved in being a mother
Simplify the cleaning
Housework and mounting washing piles can get to the best of us. If you have the never ending task of keeping on top of the housework, you can try to simplify it by following a timetable. Each day dedicate a set amount of time to each room in the house and by the end of the week your home will be clean without having to do a big weekly clean which can take up a huge chunk of time. If washing and ironing gets you down then try to delegate it to your partner or outsource it. As Jack Canfield says ‘concentrate on what you are good at and pay others to do what they are good at. If you are not in paid work and are at home with the children don’t feel that you can’t ask your partner for help. He is more than capable of running the vacuum cleaner round or sorting out the recycling.
Simplify the troops
Whether you have one or more children, organising them and their growing number of activities can be overwhelming. Depending on the age of your child or children it is important to have a routine that works for you and them. Shared organisation is the key and ensures that you and your partner know what needs to be done when. Plan a short daily activity that the troops will enjoy; whether that involves going to the park, baking cookies, painting, swimming, reading at the library, the activity itself is not of the utmost importance it is the fact that you are fully engaged with your children at least once a day.
Simplify the kitchen
The kitchen is the hub of most households. As you wander aimlessly around Coles for the third time in a week consider how your time could be better spent. Do a weekly menu list together and book groceries online through www.onlyoz.com.au . You can even get fresh produce delivered from www.farmersdirect.com at a reasonable price. If you don’t already have one, invest in a slowcooker and throw all the ingredients in before leaving the house in the morning and know that dinner is simmering away whilst you are out and about. Organise the cupboards and ensure that everything you need is close to hand.
Lisa will have more for you in our July - August 2009 newsletter.
Lisa Walsh lives on the Northern Beaches and is a psychology coach and mother of one, with a second on the way. She can be contacted on 0405 933 328 for coaching appointments.
Disclaimer: Article on our website are for education
purposes only. Please consult with your doctor to make sure this
information is right for your child.
For more information on similar parenting topics you may like take a look at our e-books Publications on this link.
All articles on this website have a copyright any use of any material
must have permission from Cradle 2 Kindy Parenting Solutions.
When my wife told me she was pregnant I was excited, yet no where the same enthusiasm as provided by my wife.
Why? Possibly because it was not my body and hormones changing, possibly because I had no inner connection and possibly because I was more involved and connected in my Business/Corporate life. As I spoke to a lot of my male friends, many never attended the ultrasound sessions or were interested in attending birthing classes; their responses were “that is left for the woman” or “I’m too busy”, and many of those that did attend were rather blasé in the ultrasound and birthing class experience.
So what changed my enthusiasm to become so passionately involved, caring and participating in the whole life experience?
My wife and I had our 12 and 20 week ultrasound (mind you I only went to the 12 week ultrasound), and Kylie; my wife decided she would like to experience a 3D Ultrasound to see who the baby looked most like. Kylie was at 28 weeks into her pregnancy, within a minute of starting the ultrasound the ultrasound technician found a major heart abnormality. That afternoon we were provide four options -
Terminate now
Baby will probably not live to full term
If the baby does live, it may probably need ongoing life support
Hope
I chose termination, my wife chose hope………..as soon as my wife made that decision of hope; I committed to supporting her 100%. I became involved, in her and our life. I no longer became a spectator in life, at 42 years of age I started participating again. How many of us men are sitting on the sidelines of life. As a kid we men were “super heroes, we had large visions and dreams, we were invincible”. How many men have given up hope?
From the ages of 35 to 50 is the highest suicide rate for men in the Western world. In that age group we actually outperform the death rate of all motor vehicle accident fatalities.
My wife saw far more in me than I had allowed myself to see. Simply take one step, just as a baby learns to walk it all starts with simple step. Look at your baby or child – you created that simplicity of beauty, you were a part of a miracle – only a “super hero” has the ability to be a miracle maker.
So today we have a four and half year old son, a miracle – healthy, vibrant, precocious – he gets to call me dad, more importantly I get to call him son. Take one small step, one small feat to get active in life today. Be a solution, a foundation for you first and your family will benefit.
Are there days where the world is heavy, yes – yet I continue to participate. From my wife’s positive action to choose hope – I got to write a book called A Son’s Gift ; I got to connect with so many inspirational, talented, motivated and passionate people (many of them women) and created One 2 One Conversations – take a step be that super hero – live your life as if every breath is your first and last.
Being involved – some days and moments will feel as though it is your last breath, what slowly occurs is that each breath will start to feel as your first of a whole new adventure in life.
If you would like to buy Peter’s book A Son’s Gift follow this link.
Disclaimer: Article on our website are for education
purposes only. Please consult with your doctor to make sure this
information is right for your child.
For more information on similar parenting topics you may like take a look at our e-books Publications on this link.
All articles on this website have a copyright any use of any material
must have permission from Cradle 2 Kindy Parenting Solutions.
The sideline sucks. I always wanted to play the game and I always wanted to do well at the game. Very well. Parenting is the greatest game there is, and also the one where the stakes are the highest. Someone else can ponitifcate about the results. I'm just doing the best I can. Dads like Peter and myself are truly blessed to be in the game and not on the sideline.
It is not just swimming pools and dams that children drown in. A child can drown in 5 cm of water. This means anything that may hold water that a child can get their head into such as bathtubs, toilets, hot tubs, spars, pools and ponds, sinks, washing machines, buckets, eskies or pets drinking water.
NEVER leave a child unattended around water this includes a child on bath support or with inflatable vests or ‘floaties’. When a child is near or in water watch with attention, a child can down in the sight of an adult whose attention has been distracted or in the time it takes to step out of the bathroom to answer the phone or get a towel. When bathing your child use a non-slip bath mat and hold your baby or young child with a firm grip rather than using a bath support where a possible distraction for a short time could lead to a potential accident.
Keep doors closed and children out of potential dangerous areas where there may be water including bathrooms, toilets and laundries. Close toilet lids and fasten with clip to stop young children from opening the lid.
Pool and pond areas should be behind child proof gates and barriers to prevent children accessing these areas unattended.
Take a course in CPR.
Teach your child to swim.
Safety From Falling
Never leave a child unattended on a raised surface no matter how low it may be or how young or immobile you may think your child is. It is advisable to start good habits right from the start when it comes to children and heights.
When putting a baby into a cot raise the side. Drop the height of the cot base once a baby begins to roll. Never sleep a baby on a bed as babies have rolled off the bed or suffocated in the pillows or bedding. If you are away from home and baby needs a sleep it is safer to strap baby into the pram where you know he/she will be safe and secure. Use a bed rail when moving a child from cot to bed. Show your child how to climb safely in and out of the bed and discontinue using a sleeping bag as these can cause the baby to trip and fall off the bed.
Remove baby from the change table if you need to move away to collect something or to wash your hands. It is safer to put baby on the floor for a few minutes. Have all your nappy changing items on or beside the change table and always have a hand on baby when you don’t have your eyes on baby. Make sure all small or dangerous objects including lotions are our of baby’s reach. Buying a change table with raised sides to prevent roll-off may also help. If you have a collapsible table, make sure the locks are secure before placing baby on the table.
Don’t prop baby between pillows or cushions on the lounge baby should spend play time on a mat on the floor to encourage tummy play.
Where there are straps or a safety harness to secure you child, use them. This will help prevent problems and tantrums that may occur later. For example when a child first sits in a highchair they are not very mobile so straps are not often used but when a child becoming more active they may attempt to climb out and when you try to strap them in they may protest and struggle against you. The same may occur with the pram. Strapping a child in from the beginning will help them to become accustomed to it and learn to expect using straps. It becomes lifestyle. Highchair should have shoulder, waist, and a crotch strap. Make sure a child can’t push the chair over while sitting in the chair.
When using a seats that attach to the table make sure the table is able to support the seat without tipping over. Never allow a child to climb on or stand in a highchair.
Again never leave a child unattended in a highchair.
It would be wise that all parents and child careres keep up to date with First Aid including CPR.
St John Ambulance Aust has a 'Caring for Kids' programme, as well as CPR and first aid programme. www.stjohn.org.au
Disclaimer: Article on our website are for education
purposes only. Please consult with your doctor to make sure this
information is right for your child.
For more information on similar parenting topics you may like take a look at our e-books Publications on this link.
All articles on this website have a copyright any use of any material
must have permission from Cradle 2 Kindy Parenting Solutions.
There was a time – oh how all men miss those good old days! – when men were men, women were women and babies were - well, men were blissfully unaware what babies were. Not so anymore. We are expected to take on roles evolution has equipped us very poorly to deal with. Even the very definition of fatherhood is a moving target, frustrating everyone involved – apart from sociologists of course who are wetting their pants in anticipation of all the inane studies they can make.
It became obvious to me as I took part in what has become the activity of choice for all us struggling dads - the baby swimming class. Freya was about 18 months when I attended the first session.
Around me stood ten other dads and one lonesome mother in waist deep water, singing ‘Cuddly koala, cuddly koala, possums too, possums too…’ and I was struck with how stupid we must look. Next to me was a guy with tattoos that to my untrained eye made him member of a satanic cult, two rival motorcycle gangs and a torture appreciation society. He too was singing along: ‘wallaby and wombat, wallaby and wombat, kangaroo, kangaroo.’ We are so confused about our roles as fathers that even this guy, who probably spent his weekends smashing other people’s heads together for fun, desperately trying to work it out by attending these non swimming sessions. He looked like an absolute dork, not that I’d tell him to his face. We just have no role models. Who should we turn to? Our own dads with their no nonsense view on fatherhood? Or a celebrity father? Perhaps Tom Cruise could teach us a thing or two about fatherhood? He seems to know about most other things after all.
No, we are alone, desperately making it up as we go along. And this is where it all falters. How can you be good or bad at anything if the goal or the road there isn’t defined? Is it only with 20/20 hindsight and a grown child’s opinion we can find out for sure whether we were any good as fathers? Or is the constant feel of inadequateness enough as a pointer to how you are performing?
I love being a father, but sometimes I wish it came with an instruction manual from this century.
Mikael Svanström, author of "Getting pregnant the Hard way" - buy the book from http://www.mikaelsvanstrom.com or your local bookstore.
Disclaimer: Article on our website are for education
purposes only. Please consult with your doctor to make sure this
information is right for your child.
For more information on similar parenting topics you may like take a look at our e-books Publications on this link.
All articles on this website have a copyright any use of any material
must have permission from Cradle 2 Kindy Parenting Solutions.
You would be surprised how much you child understands even from a very early age of nine months. Your child knows when you are displeased by your tone of voice and facial expressions. They know how to get your attention and how to use it to their own advantage as seen in teaching a child to sleep. As their intellectual ability develops, children need to be taught what acceptable and non-acceptable behaviour is. A baby as young as three months learns that it is no longer acceptable to wake for a night feed when he/she should be sleeping from 10 pm to 6 am and will learn to self settle when taught. Therefore as a baby intellectual ability develops and he/she begins to comprehend what is right and wrong, becoming more aware of your displeasure of things, you can begin to attempt disciplining in other areas.
Children under three months are not naughty or misbehave on purpose – they are just trying to communicate their needs such as discomfort or hunger. Babies learn from repetitive activities, so be consistent and persistent with the message you are trying to teach them. With an older child, repeat your request over and over again. Many a time it is not that they are being defiant but just plainly forgetful.
How do you discipline?
When you notice a child is about to misbehave or has begun to misbehave, come down to their level, look them in the eye and with a quiet, firm voice explain what action you would like them to have and what the consequences will be if they continue to misbehave. A child will act out their feeling so it is important to try to understand what is behind their behaviour. Help them to understand their feelings and why they are reacting to a situation and make suggestions that may help them through this problem. If they are at the point of no return and are not willing to listen, then remove them from the situation and give them some time out. Once they have calmed down, give them some time to get over it and later in the day have another friendly discussion about the situation and if possible help them to see a solution.
Helping a child understand their feeling and talking about things will assist them with language and help them to express themselves as they get older.
On occasions when your child’s naughty behaviour may amuse you, try not to show it on your face as they may misunderstand and think you approve of it or seeing the smile as a positive reward and may continue to misbehave to get further attention.
Fairness and Consistency
As in my previous articles, I stress the importance of routines. Having a daily pattern of events helps a child feel safe. They can predict what comes next as they already know the order of events. This can also be related to knowing what is expected of them and knowing how their parents will act in certain situations. Our reactions need to be seen as consistent and fair.
Before disciplining a child we need them to know what is right or wrong and what the consequences are for not doing what is expected of them. As previously mentioned, children learn from copying their parents and others around them. As we act so will our children.
Set a good example and talk to your children when you make a mistake. Admit your mistakes and ask your child to forgive you when necessary. For example when you loose your cool and raise your voice. ‘Sorry mummy shouldn’t have shouted at you. Could you please…?’ Children are very understanding and flexible. You will also be teaching them how and when to apologise.
Discipline
Children need to know what your reaction to their behaviour will be and that it will be fair and consistent.
Make sure you’re not expecting too much from a child. Take into consideration the child’s age appropriate behaviour. For example, young children cannot be expected to sit still for long periods of time.
Although children thrive on routines, they can also handle the occasional change. They understand that one parent does thing differently to the other and that things are done differently at kindy, at grandma’s and at home.
Before disciplining, make sure your child understands what you expect of them by telling or showing them what you want rather than punishing them for behaviour you don’t want.
Never make a threat that you can’t carry through with. Let your Yes be Yes and your No be No. Remember children will mimic your actions, so it is better to encourage positive behaviour in our children. Threats generally display our frustration and lack of control over a situation.
Where appropriate and if your child is old enough, allow them to be involved in some of the decision making, giving them choices instead of requests.
Remember the easiest way to encourage good behaviour is to praise it openly and frequently. Children love to please and thrive on praise. So recognise and encourage the positives and ignore as much as possible the attention seeking bad behaviour.
If you would like more information on this and other similar topics our E-books are packed full of practical parenting tips. Down load an E-Book specifically related to your child's age group through Publications at Our Shop.
Disclaimer: Article on our website are for education
purposes only. Please consult with your doctor to make sure this
information is right for your child.
All articles on this website have a copyright any use of any
material must have permission from Cradle 2 Kindy Parenting Solutions.
Some years ago, the World Health Organisation (WHO) recommended that solids not be introduced to infants until they were at least 6 months old. The National Health and Medical Research Council (NHMRC) followed with a similar advice in Australia.
The previous recommendation had been to introduce solids at 4 to 6 months. For many mothers, the change was counter-intuitive, as many infants appear to be interested in solids before 6 months. For some breastfeeding mothers, use of solids such as stewed fruit is a preferred option to formula when they are not immediately available. Surveys have confirmed that majority of mothers in Australia did not follow the revised recommendations with many introducing solids to their children at 4 or 5 months without ill effect.
The 6 month recommendation was based on the belief that exclusive breastfeeding for at least 6 months was best. The evidence for this was limited with only one or two studies in developed countries showing less gastroenteritis in infants exclusively breastfed. Exclusive was defined as only breastfeeds with no other fluids or solids. It may have been better to focus on avoiding formula as supplementing breastfeeding with formula will reduce duration of breastfeeding. Formula-fed infants generally have worse health and developmental outcomes than breastfed infants.
Problems arose
Unfortunately, it is possible that the recommendation to delay the introduction of solids not only did not benefit infants but also may have done some harm. It has become clear that delaying the introduction of a variety of foods to young children may have long-term effect on their food preference. It is best to introduce a variety of tastes and textures over the first year of life to develop healthy food choice and avoid fussy eating habits.
Food allergies and intolerances
More recently, another consequence of delayed introduction of foods has become apparent. The incidence of allergies of all types, especially food allergies, is increasing and research suggests that delayed introduction of solids has interfered with the normal immune development in infancy reducing food tolerance and increasing allergies.
Doctors who specialise in allergies from around the world have written a joint recommendation that solids should be introduced from 4 to 6 months and not delayed until 6 months or older. Breastfeeding is of course encouraged for the first year of life.
Breastfeeding combined with gradual and steady increase in the variety of foods results in the lowest incidence of allergies.
Always when introducing solids, the parents need assess safe risk and infants need be developmentally ready. Young children can choke on solids. This is an important reason for not introducing solids at 2 or 3 months of age. When solids are started from 4 months, early foods should be soft and mushy and only one new food each week. From 6 months new textures can be included but not hard foods, such as uncooked carrot or raw apple, which can lodge in the infant’s trachea or wind pipe.
All parents should be aware that young children may choke on solids. Parents need know that if they believe a young child in gagging or choking on food that a firm hit on the back may help dislodge the obstruction. (Cradle 2 Kindy Parenting Solutions suggests all parents and care givers complete their First Aid - St John has a 'Course in Caring for Kids' that is highly recommended)
The Solids Controversy was written by Professor Karen Simmer PHD FRACP. Professor of Newborn Medicine, University of Western Australia.
If you would like more information on this and other similar topics our E-books are packed full of practical parenting tips. Down load an E-Book specifically related to your child's age group through Publications at Our Shop.
Disclaimer: Article on our website are for education
purposes only. Please consult with your doctor to make sure this
information is right for your child.
All articles on this website have a copyright any use of any material
must have permission from Cradle 2 Kindy Parenting Solutions.
Having recently seen a few babies with tongue tie or Ankyloglossia I asked Dr Laurie Kobler if I could use his article to inform parents of this sometimes debilitating condition. These days many doctors either neglect to inform parents or believe it is unnecessary to treat a baby with ankyloglossia this can lead to several problems including poor attachment causing damage to the nipple and even poor feeding.
Take a look inside your baby’s mouth. If you notice a shortened frenum which you feel may be contributing to your baby’s poor attachment I suggest you seek medical advice. If you are in NSW give Dr Kobler a call.
Neo-natal Ankyloglossia Release
By Dr Laurie Kobler B.D.S.
Ankyloglossia – A condition in which the sublingual frenum is shortened, tight or otherwise restrictive, resulting in reduced mobility of the tongue.
Consequences
Infant. Interference with feeding, most especially causing maternal breast/nipple pain, significant air intake and extended feeding time. This can express itself in poor weight gain.
Toddler. Commonly causes difficulty with speech, as well as ongoing eating issues associated with the condition. Often unable to phoeneticise correctly and rapid speech can be difficult to understand.
Unseen effects on personality development and self-esteem associated with poor communication skills are possible.
Inability to circumlocute is messy. Occasionally excessive saliva flow is also evident.
Non-treatment with associated symptoms as described
Conventional surgery often performed at 6 months age under G.A. using scalpel, scissors & sutures. Breast feeding opportunity has passed with associated nutritional compromise. This is significantly more invasive, costly and painful with longer healing time & often increased costs.
Laser correction can be performed as young as possible, is quick, minimal pain and rapid healing, allowing breast feeding to continue or re-commence if possible. Minimally invasive and less cost as well as less time commitment to procedure. No requirement for hospitalisation or overnight stay.
Procedure
Pre-operative photographic record
Topical anaesthetic application
(Local anaesthetic is rarely needed)
Tension frenum (DeLorenz Retractor)
Release ankyloglossia
post-operative photographic record
Take a look inside your baby’s mouth. If you notice a shortened frenum which you feel may be contributing to your baby’s poor attachment I suggest you seek medical advice. If you are in NSW give Dr Kobler a call at Intergrity Dental Clinic 02 96514488
If you would like more information on other topics our E-books are packed full of practical parenting tips. Down load an E-Book specifically related to your child's age group through Publications at Our Shop.
Disclaimer: Article on our website are for education
purposes only. Please consult with your doctor to make sure this
information is right for your child.
All articles on this website have a copyright any use of any
material must have permission from Cradle 2 Kindy Parenting Solutions.
My son was born with tongue tied and my doctor advise us to have it cut when he turn 6mths. At first I was a little anxious and reject the advice. But my hubby told me we should have it done otherwise it will reduce the mobility of his tongue for speech but I insist to wait till 1yrs. We went back to kk hospital where the doctor attending to us was a trainee, he rejected our request for tongue tied surgery and ask us to wait till my son turn 2.5yrs. This is too long as toddlers picking up their speech bubbling with their tongues out. The doctor ask me to go back a year later to have my son had done then. Till now, he's 3 yrs plus, he is still drooling saliva and doesnt not want to use his tongue to speak, his just uses his mouth. Everyword he speaks is I have had to teach him which is no more than three words. My son was admitted to kkh due to stomach flu the doctor on duty told us my son had a serious speeching impediment due to not using the mobility of his tongue. He then refered me to speech therapy which was useless.
Time out can be for the child or for the parent. Time out is basically time alone. That is away from the social group. Being social beings, we prefer to be where the action is, so by isolating a child will grab their attention and allow them to rethink their behaviour. Time out is not punishment and should never used to humiliate a child as being forced into the ‘naught chair/spot’. We are looking to avoid creating hurt feelings, embarrassment and humiliation. Try to remove the offending child from the social group before they become angry or embarrass themselves.
As a child gets older they will learn to take themselves to their room when they feel they need some time out to regain control of themselves.
As adults we may also need some time out. When you find yourself getting angry or frustrated with a child’s behaviour, you may need to get away for a short time to bring your own feelings under control. I have often suggested to parents to let their children know why they need time out, “Mummy is getting upset and needs to calm down so I’m going into my room for a little while”. Before doing this, you must make sure your children are left in a safe environment, if possible have another adult present to watch the children while you take a break.
Positive Parenting
Before we get into the next topic I want to stress positive parenting. Look for good behaviours and show your approval and pleasure. Reassure your child that you love them regardless of their bad behaviour. Make time in your busy schedule to spend quality time with each child and this means listening to them. Show them you are interested in them. If you actively listen to your child, they are likely to be more open with you. Active listening means taking note of what they are saying and respond accordingly. Active listening will help you to find out if anything is bothering or worrying your child.
Spending time with your child in a positive way will help your child listen to you. Let them know your expectations, be consistent with boundaries and remember to change the boundaries as your child gets older. Having a daily routine and setting boundaries eliminate some of the temper tantrums, as these things become a part of everyday life and therefore are expected.
Also, when disciplining, pick you battles. Allow some of the smaller squeamishness to be ignored until you has conquered the bigger battles.
Reasons for bad behaviour
Firstly, take into consideration the age of a child as they may be too young to understand that their actions are unacceptable or with an older child, he/she may not have been taught that this particular action is unacceptable. Much of a child’s bad behaviour may be due to attention seeking and this can be helped through giving more attention to their good behaviour.
Other reasons for bad behaviour may include:
Changes within the family such as a new sibling, family stress, starting childcare.
Frustration with their inability to communicate or do an activity.
Angry or upset and are unable to express themselves in another way.
Feeling they are being unfairly treated and what to punish the offending person.
Feeling their independence is being restricted and needing room to develop.
If you would like some help with behavioural issues, please don’t hesitate, give us a call on 1300 786 101. We would be delighted to assist, to arm you with tips and skills to help you manage your family’s challenges.
If you would like more information on this and other similar topics our E-books are packed full of practical parenting tips. Down load an E-Book specifically related to your child's age group through Publications at Our Shop.
Disclaimer: Article on our website are for education
purposes only. Please consult with your doctor to make sure this
information is right for your child.
All articles on this website have a copyright any use of any
material must have permission from Cradle 2 Kindy Parenting Solutions.
Setting boundaries and disciplining your child is the beginning of social edict. We are marking out the boundaries that our society expects ie - What is accepted as good behaviour and what is not acceptable. The boundaries you set at a young age will last your child for life; alternatively the lack of social skills you instill within your children will often be the bench mark that leads them into adulthood. We have all seen unacceptable behaviour in adults, this invariably stems from a lack of discipline or boundaries set during toddler hood. Our ultimate goal as parents is to encourage self control and to help our children to understand and manage their own behaviour.
As parents we are responsible for teaching our children socially acceptable behaviour and self-control. This is accomplished through appropriate and consistent discipline and boundary setting. Our children then learns about consequences and taking responsibility for their own actions. The discipline or punishment we deal out will more than likely set the standard for their actions and reactions later in life.
What is discipline?
Firstly let’s have a look at what discipline in not – discipline is not physical punishment – hitting, or smacking or verbal abuse such as yelling or threatening a child.
So what is discipline? Discipline is discouraging bad behaviour and encouraging good behaviour by using rational and positive action.
Results from physical punishment
Parents are role models for their children thus the importance of positive parenting. What children see you do they will copy. They see your actions as approved of and therefore is the correct thing for them to do also. Inflicting pain to stop a child from behaving badly only teaches them violence is OK. For example if you smack a child for doing something wrong and they see their younger sibling doing something they perceive as being wrong, they will believe they are doing the right thing to correct their sibling with a smack. This is why it is very important that we lead by example.
Physical punishment may also cause problems such as:
Psychological or physical injury
Undermining a child’s sense of justice, trust and fairness.
They may turn to lying to avoid physical punishment.
They may become fearful or withdrawn
They may become aggressive or develop bullying behaviour
It may damage the parent-child relationship
It may do irrefutable damage to a child’s self-esteem, self-respect and dignity.
You have also let slip an opportunity to teach your child self-control and responsibility. Some of these may become long term problems affecting their adult lives.
Alternatives to physical punishment
Once we have established that physical punishment is wrong, what else is there? Firstly we need to understand that it is in their nature for children to please parents, to do the right thing. Children are seeking approval and love, therefore one of the easiest ways to encourage good behaviour is to recognise, acknowledge and praise good behaviour.
This shows them what is expected from them. By reinforcing and giving attention to good behaviour your child will be less likely to seek your attention through bad behaviour.
Secondly children are to understand that bad or unacceptable behaviour is not tolerated and that there are consequences to their actions. If a child is aloud to get away with unacceptable behaviour it is like saying you approve of their behaviour. Therefore unacceptable behaviour is to be corrected. How does one correct unacceptable behaviour?
Strategies to discipline
Discipline is part of learning about the consequences of your actions. With young children the consequences need to follow as soon as possible after the action and should be relevant to the behaviour. These may include:
Distracting the child
Removing the object
Isolating the offending child from the group.
Taking ‘Time out’ – spending time alone to reflect on their behaviour and regain their composure before returning to the group.
Part 2 'Time - quality time and time out ' will be continued in our next newsletter....
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