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When I reminisce on my introduction to fatherhood, it’s all about the waterworks, the tears I shed. Nothing prepares you properly for fatherhood. It’s an overwhelming and altogether unexpected experience no matter how much research you may do beforehand.
I cried with nervous apprehension when my wife was taken to an operating theatre for an emergency caesarean section, after she had bravely battled in labour for more than half a day. My tears were transformed into rivers of joy when I saw my son for the first time. On reflection, it was surprising that I didn’t shed tears of horror at the sight of that cone-headed alien recently rescued from my wife’s womb.

Tears of frustration flowed when he cried and I possessed neither the equipment nor the skills to pacify him. More tears followed, this time of exasperation when we brought him home and I thought I knew what I was doing, but nothing I did would quiet my son’s anguished wails. I have never felt so helpless. When one so truly and totally dependent on me as my little boy cried, I was defeated. I had nothing in my armoury save tears of failure.

Even though I didn’t know why he was crying and he most certainly was not even aware of my distress, those tears were also shared: two males of the human species bonding through weeping.

Other tears flowed. The ones of disgust when my little man filled not only his nappy but also the rocker with putrid  dark brown semi-solid waste. My wife and I were eventually able to laugh about that. I reckon I laughed so hard I cried.

There were more tears of laughter when I found him asleep in a corner, sitting bolt upright with his head back, mouth open and hand still gripping a cracker.

And in the fullness of time, I returned to the tears of joy I had shed when he arrived into my world, as I waved him off on his first day at a new world called school. Those tears were a strange cocktail of pride and anxiety. It was the beginning of letting go and I considered that worth a good sob as well.

I’m learning fatherhood as I go. That little screaming creature is now as tall as I am and much better looking than he was then. More challenges await and no doubt more tears, of every variety, will also come. I’m not ready but I’ll be okay as long as I don’t drown in all my tears.

D. A. Cairns is married with two children and lives on the south coast of New South Wales in Australia where he works as an English language teacher and writes stories in his very limited spare time. He has had seven short stories published. Devolution is the name of his recently released first novel.

dac007@netspace.net.au
www.eloquentbooks.com/devolution.html
www.myspace.com/dacairns

Disclaimer: Article on our website are for education purposes only.  Please consult with your doctor to make sure this information is right for your child.

For more information on similar parenting topics you may like take a look at our e-books Publications on this link.

All articles on this website have a copyright any use of any material must have permission from Cradle 2 Kindy Parenting Solutions.

Six steps to help you simplify the daunting and sometimes overwhelming tasks involved in being a mother Lisa Walsh, a psychology coach and mother gives us the second 3 steps of 6 steps to help you simplify the daunting and sometimes overwhelming tasks involved in being a mother. 

In our last newsletter Lisa covered the topics:
Simplify the cleaning
Simplify the troops
Simplify the kitchen

Lisa now looks at:

Simplify the Paperwork

Do you have a mountain of paperwork which consists of unopened letters, bills, thank you cards half written, receipts, fliers for events that you know you will never attend, old information about things that no longer even interest you, junk mail?  The list goes on, well mine does anyway.  Set some time aside, whilst the baby is napping or whilst watching telly in the evening and ruthlessly throw out the paperwork you no longer need.  Organise a workspace which can handle incoming mail and paperwork in a no nonsense manner, preferably beside the recycling bin!

Simplify your relationship

Having children is undoubtedly one of the most rewarding experiences we can have, but it can also put a huge strain on relationships.  Your other half may share the burdens that are inevitably involved in parenthood, but all too often women are the primary carers and thus we can be left feeling alone and unappreciated.  Don’t let things fester, if your partner does something that upsets or annoys you, don’t leave it until you are having a row to bring something up that happened weeks ago.  One night a week endeavour to have a date night whether that means getting a takeaway and a DVD or getting a babysitter and going out ensure that you regularly make time to nurture yourselves as a couple.  One night a week turn off the television and play a board game or do a puzzle together.  It may sound nerdy, but give it a go and you may surprise yourself and really enjoy it.

Simplify yourself

All too often women can lose their identity once children are on the scene. Honour yourself and the amazing person you are. Take time out for yourself, whether that means having a luxurious bath, going for a walk or having a coffee with a friend. It is important that you have your own time.  Try and keep active, as we all know the myriad of health benefits associated with an active lifestyle.  Not only can being active help us feel better, it also enables us to keep the blues away.  Moderate and regular exercise has shown to be as effective as antidepressants in helping buffer the effects of mild depression.  If you are feeling low, talk to someone you trust or confide in your doctor.  If you have decided to take a career break then enjoy it and don’t feel guilty or resentful about missed career opportunities.  A great way of staying up to date with advances in your profession is to keep up memberships to professional associations, join a networking group or enrol in a short course to keep your skills honed.

Lisa Walsh lives on the Northern Beaches and is a psychology coach and mother of one, with a second on the way.  She can be contacted on 0405 933328 for coaching appointments.

Disclaimer: Article on our website are for education purposes only.  Please consult with your doctor to make sure this information is right for your child.

For more information on similar parenting topics you may like take a look at our e-books Publications on this link.

All articles on this website have a copyright any use of any material must have permission from Cradle 2 Kindy Parenting Solutions.